Skinman
by andreakayy
Summary: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCULLY! It's Scully's birthday and Mulder tries to surprise her but the Skinman interrupts. So, now he is tied into this. It includes Skinner being made fun of and Mulder and Skinner looking like idiots. HUMOR Please, R&R.


**DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own X-files.**

DEDICATED TO THE VERY LOVELY DANA KATHERINE SCULLY IN HONOR OF HER BIRTHDAY!

This is not my usual MSR fic. In fact, it doesn't really contain any MSR at all. I just did this to be funny.

Takes place season six.  
(Mulder first heard Skinner called Skinman around the time of season six, since the movie produced by wayne federman was made 16 months after Scully and Mulder had met him. That's just so you don't get confused with the whole timeline in my story)

**Ps. I did this quickly and out of my own amusement. Nonetheless, I would be much much happy if you reviewed.**

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It was 8am and Mulder sat in the basement office alone, in the dark, anticipating the arrival of Dana Scully. It was February 24th; it was her birthday. He thought he heard footsteps so he ducked behind his desk; the lights turned on. He jumped up only to hurt his head by the desk. Instead of surprise a cry of pain echoed from his lips.

"Mulder," Skinner rushed over. "You okay?" Mulder held a horn in his hand while giving Skinner a thumbs up. (A/n: The kind you use at parties that make that high pitched annoying noise... you blow out of them.) Suddenly the elevator rang. "Quick here," Mulder handed Skinner a horn to use. "It's her birthday! Now, turn out the lights!" Mulder pushed Skinner in the direction of the light switch, meanwhile footsteps became more clear as they were headed in the direction of the office.

Skinner dashed back to the desk. Mulder banged his knee off of the desk and yelped, causing Skinner to smack his head off of Mulder's. Skinner yelped in pain too. Both in pain, made their way to the desk but the swivel chair had been in the way. Both were completely blind in the darkness of the office. Skinner ran into the chair and tripped. He blindly grabbed on to something to break his fall but apparently that thing was Mulder. Skinner pulled Mulder down with him, and both fell to the side of the desk as the lights were flicked on.

Both men, lying on the floor, looked over to Scully, who was standing there with her jaw dropped. Mulder didn't know what else to do so he grabbed the horn on the ground and shoved it in Skinner's mouth, while he did the same to himself. Both blew at the same time, making that annoying high pitched sound.

"Surprise," Mulder cheered, out of breath because of what had just happened.

"Yeah, _uhm_, Happy Birthday!" Skinner threw his arms up in the air in a silly fashion.

Scully turned away and begun to crack up. That's when Mulder and Skinner looked to each other realizing they were on the ground like idiots. The office was a mess. When Mulder had bashed his knee, he knocked down his name from his desk as well as w cup of nicely sharpened Ticonderoga pencils and Samantha's photo. The glass on the frame was cracked, and some shards lay on the ground. When Skinner had fell and took Mulder down with him, they caused papers as well as folders to fly everywhere.

So, realizing that they looked like two ridiculous oafs, both men got up and straightened their clothes.

"Thanks," Scully managed to get out after her laughing had died down. Skinner and Mulder were red in the face with embarrassment. "You two are hysterical," She was out of breath from laughing. She fixed her short red hair behind her ear and attempted to appear professional. "Agent Mulder prefers to celebrate my birthday in dog years. Apparently this year he isn't?" She raised an eyebrow to Mulder, who scratched his head. Skinner chuckled.

"Uhm, Agents," Skinner began, now regaining his professionalism to, as if what just happened hadn't. "I came down here to congratulate you both. You're statistics are through the roof. In fact, they're at the best they had ever been. You should be very proud. So, because of this, you both have two weeks off, with pay." Mulder and Scully both smiled widely.

"Two weeks, sir?" Her eyes were big. "That's a very generous."

"It's a gift from the bureau." He made his way out; Mulder and Scully's eyes both followed him. After shutting the door, he peeped in again. "Oh, and agents?"

"Yeah, sir?" Mulder replied.

"That whole moment on the floor, it _never_ happened."

"Got it, _Skinman_," Scully began to crack up once again. She held her stomach, which was now aching from all the laughter. Skinner rolled his eyes.

"Don't call me that."

"Got it," Mulder nodded. "_Skinman_," He added mischievously in a whisper.

"Mulder," Skinner warned; he still had not left.

"Yes,_ Skinner_," He overstressed his title. Scully went to the back to continue her laughing alone, listening to the two. She was now in tears.

"Don't call me that."

"Aw come on, _Walter_," He stressed his first named that time. "It's a great nickname. It's the _only_ cool thing about Federman. He gave you an awesome nickname."

"I don't want to discuss this. Can you just take off and be happy that you're getting paid? Just get out of my hair," Before turning to leave Mulder pointed at his own head and patted his hair, with a smirk. "Whatever, Mulder. Bald _is _beautiful." He turned to leave, this time succeeding. "Oh, and happy birthday again, Agent Scully!" Skinner called from ten feet away from the door.

"Thanks, _SKIN MAN_!" She yelled full of laughter from the office.

"Not you too!" He yelled back, now aggravated and annoyed. _'Ugh, it'll never stop. Stupid Wayne,'_ Skinner sighed in thought. _'At least they're out of my—Well; at least I don't have to put up with Mulder's ass for another two weeks.'_ He could clearly hear the laughter coming from the basement office as he stepped onto the elevator. The words 'Skinman' and 'Skinhead' could clearly be heard while the doors began to close. He shook his head and rolled his eyes while the elevator began to elevate to the next floor.

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**  
Please... Review?  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCULLY, DEAR:D**  
**-A.  
**


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